Student Government Candidate Jailed for Massive Voter Fraud

I have never understood the point of student government—it always seemed like a weird popularity contest where the “prize” is selling hot links by the vending machines with Ms. Rolfson while everyone else gets early dismissal. Like, ooh, where do I sign up? For never having to do that ever?

I mean, at least high school student government looks awesome on your college applications (especially if you’re applying to Hot Link U! Go Badgers!!!)—and it has the potential to give nerdier kids some modicum of institutional power and visibility. The same goes for college ASB, in that regard (college government might be even nerdier than high school).

But other than that, what the fuck is up with college student government? Do employers really care that you kept the butcher paper budget to record lows during your tenure as Secretary-Treasurer? Or about that time when, as Sergeant-at-Arms, you informed Kevin he needed to raise his hand first if he wanted to present his motion about weekend pizza oven hours? Is that really a selling point in your entry interview at the GAP? Genuine question. As a person who spent my college free time FINALLY BEATING LEGEND OF ZELDA, I really honestly don’t know what that shit is for.

Well, here’s a hypothesis. If this story out of San Diego is any indication, college government is a training ground for young political hopefuls to learn how to be as corrupt and self-serving as real politicians. Yay! (Sob.) One fake-presidential hopeful learned the hard way that committing real-fraud on fake-voting can land you in real-prison. Bummer, bro.

A 22-year-old man has been sentenced to a year in prison for stealing the identities and passwords of more than 700 fellow students at his San Diego-area university so he could rig a campus election.

The US attorney’s office said Monday that former Cal State San Marcos student Matthew Weaver rigged the election so he could become student body president. He was one of two candidates for the position.

Weaver, of Huntington Beach, pleaded guilty in March to wire fraud, unauthorized access of a computer and identity theft.

He admits that he used small electronic devices that record a computer user’s keystrokes to steal 745 passwords.

Weaver says he used those stolen identities to cast about 630 votes for himself and for friends who also were on the ballot.

Then little Richie Nixon turned his baseball cap around and rode away on his American flag skateboard. “I am not a crook! And also eat my shorts!” [GUITAR RIFF] It’d almost be cute, if it weren’t for the utter disregard for scruples or fairness.

College kid steals classmates’ login info, uses it to rig student body president election – gets year in jail time for his trouble [NYPost]