Recently, the Department of Education released a new set of common core standards that will no longer require schools to teach students how to write in cursive. Oh, no! Now how are precocious young girls supposed to portray accuracy when they stay up late writing old-timey plays as they pretend to be Jo from Little Women? (Apologies, I am projecting.)
Cursive enthusiasts are upset because either they don't realize that there are bigger problems in our educational system that they could be worried about or they feel that losing the ability to write cursive also means losing a connection to our past. WELL, GET WITH IT, FOGIES. In the future, we'll all have robot hands anyway and ALL writing will be obsolete.
Among cursive's staunchest offenders is Stephen Colbert, who boldly defended it against the Department of Education during last night's broadcast of The Colbert Report.
"The handwriting's on the wall," Colbert declared. "And no one can read it."
RIP, cursive. You live on in the birthday cards sent by our grandmothers.
Speaking of Colbert, his tip of the hat to the RNC for ending racism is also worth a watch.