Spy Skivvies Track Your Underwhereabouts

Are you a jerk who doesn't trust women? Do you have a wife, girlfriend, partner, or daughter who will wear ugly underwear that you give her as a present with no questions asked? Do I have the product for you!

Forget-me-not panties purport to help men with communication problems, trust issues, and no respect for the individuality of the women in their lives spy on the objects of their fixation using a censor embedded in the garment. The Privates Eye Panties then send information from that censor- including GPS location and body temperature- to the woman's owner overbearing male companion/ultra creepy dad.

According to the product site,

These panties can give you her location, and even her temperature and heart rate, and she will never even know it's there! Unlike the cumbersome and uncomfortable chastity belts of the past, these panties are 100% cotton, and use cutting-edge technology to help you protect what matters most.


I bet men who buy these also call women "females."

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This is a joke and not a new one. It started about five year ago in the chastity belt fetish community with people joking about what they would do with increased security at airports (it used to be you could just switch a metal female or male chastity belt out for a temporary plastic one when you needed to fly) and people started making up fake ads/descriptions of boxers or panties that keyholders could give to their lovingly locked partners instead of bulky CBs you'd have to explain to the TSA.