Spare a Moment for a Rihanna Conspiracy?

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Friends, comrades, fellow fans of Rihanna lend me your ears as for just a brief moment as I don my tinfoil cap and share a long-held conspiracy about Rihanna. Let’s start with what we know for certain. In 2016 Rihanna released her eighth album, Anti, which is without question her best work. On March 24th, 2021 Rihanna added a celebratory post to her Instagram marking Anti’s fifth year on the Billboard 200. Between 2016 and 2021 Rihanna has released many things, but none of them was even a shred of new music, something fans have been clamoring for.

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Rihanna may be a businesswoman, but she is foremost an artist, so I personally believe she must have some innate desire to release another album. It’s really a question of when.

Now let’s get into some finer details and wild assumptions. In November of last year, Pharrell made a passing comment in an Allure interview that he was working with Rihanna on her next album. According to Hollywood Life, Rihanna also mentioned in the comments of her anniversary post that she should release some new music, adding “just 1 tho.” This was the second part of a double reply to one of her commenters. So we’ve got two and one, 21. Do you see where this is going? The final piece of the puzzle has been staring at us all along, people!

Rihanna told us it was going to be a long wait until the next album in the title of the last one: You can’t spell anticipation with ANTI!! Moreover, the album is full of songs praising pleasure and what do all the women’s magazines say about pleasure? Anticipation makes it better. The signs are all aligned. The new album that we have been ANTIcipating has to be coming in 2021!!!!

We have reached the blessed year, I can feel it.


Chrissy Teigen has bid a fond farewell to the most loved and cherished thing in her life: her Twitter account. In an emotional four-part thread that reads like a formal resignation, Teigen signed off of Twitter for what she claims is the last time adding, “Live well tweeters. Please know all I ever cared about was you!!!”

Teigen’s reasons for shutting down her account are understandable, if a little overstated. She wrote that all she wanted to do was make people happy and the “pain” when she was unable to do that was becoming too much. She was also starting to feel the negative effects of having hundreds of thousands of people read her every single thought, which sorry girl, can’t relate. (This is obviously a joke, the internet is a horrible place.)

Bye Chrissy, hope you enjoy life outside the tweets.


  • Britney Spears is requesting her father’s resignation as her permanent conservator. [Entertainment Weekly]
  • Priyanka Chopra Jonas has a new restaurant opening in New York. [Vogue]
  • Marshmallow. Soda. [People]
  • Taylor Swift is no longer in a legal battle with a theme park in Utah and now has more time to speed up those re-records I’m waiting for. [E News]
  • Memba Frankie Muniz? He just had his first kid you old hag. [E News]

DISCUSSION

By
CatAss

Marshmallow soda?  Yes.  But fucking PEEPS flavored soda?  No, no, a thousand times no.  Peeps are the bastard step brother of real marshmallows, they are terrible and should cease to exist.  I say this as a lover of bad candy, but I cannot abide peeps.