Someone You Love is Going to Die in the Last Season of True Blood

We can now officially add True Blood to the list of shows that likes to kill off regular characters we love (or hate).

In case you’ve forgotten how last season ended (don’t worry, that’s understandable), Business Insider has a quick refresher:

Season 6 concluded with the townsfolk of Bon Temps partying while a horde of Hep-V infected vampires made their way toward the fun. Thanks to Governor Burrell’s plan to wipe out the vampire race, infected vampires are ravaging small towns. And in an effort to keep the good people of Bon Temps safe, Bill and new mayor Sam Merlotte teamed up to make a plan – protection for clean blood. The party during the season finale was so that the humans could form monogamous feeding relationships with local vampires in exchange for protection from the Hep-V infected.

According to TV Guide, the show is not going to spare the feelings of any devotees who’ve dedicated hours of their life to documenting their favorite characters in gif form on Tumblr. (I would know a thing about that. I don’t spend half my workday looking up “Jason Stackhouse” or “Joe Manganiello” or “Alexander Skarsgard” pictures. That’s just crazy).

When the HBO drama returns, the Hep-V-infected vampires that were poised to attack Bon Temps arrive and the bloodbath quickly ensues. Unfortunately, the casualties are not just redshirts. In fact, one character’s fate is so jaw-dropping that you’ll spend the rest of the episode wondering if what you just watched was a dream. It’s not, which clearly means all bets are off in this final season.

“Redshirts” are of course a description of a character who appears on a show pretty much so they can die. Honestly, after six seasons of following this show there’s plenty of characters I wouldn’t mind seeing getting offed. Here is a list of who needs to DIE IN A BLOODY GODDAMN FIRE ALREADY:

Sookie
Bill
Sookie
Sookie
Sookie
Sam
Sookie

Here are the people who should live forever:

Lafayette
Jason Stackhouse
Pam
Eric but only if he promises to never ever ever talk about Sookie ever again.
Hoyt’s mom (Hey, at least she’s not Sookie)

I said this once before in another forum, but here’s what needs to happen. They need to do a spinoff with Lafayette and Pam. Boom. Lafayette could move to New Orleans and work as a medium, helping people solve crimes by convening with the dead. This way we could bring back the other most awesome character on that show, Terry Bellefleur. Terry is a ghost who can only be seen by Lafayette. He visits Lafayette sort of like Al visited Sam on Quantum Leap. They solve mysteries together along with Pam, who reluctantly takes a job working for Lafayette because she’s broke or something. It’s sort of like “Ghost Whisperer,” meets “Hart to Hart”, but with psychotic vampires and shirtless werewolves. Jason Stackhouse could guest star sometimes.