Someone Stop This Man

Vanderpump Rules is not a show that is known for its likable cast. They get arrested for stealing sunglasses, refuse to allow their addict husbands to go completely sober because that’s not fun, lie about everything, sleep with each other’s boyfriends, and use the term “ratchet” a lot. But this season, aspiring DJ James Kennedy managed to make everyone else look great.


James has the demeanor of a drunken British gnat, with an ego rivaling that of Mussolini. He’s called female cast members whores and bitches, spat on his ex-girlfriend’s door, referred to himself as the “white Kanye West,” and bragged—sometimes by purposefully wearing a tank top in order to reveal bite marks—about his sexual indiscretions with such remorseless high-pitched frequency that he almost seems to be a robot created from the combined DNA of Tucker Max and a Venetian courtesan with a drug and alcohol problem. James is, in a word, awful, and also extremely strange.

On the final reunion episode of Season 4, James appeared, at various points, to completely lose it.

“All of you are assholes!” he yelled. “Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole—not you, Schwartz.” Multiple times throughout the reunion, James initiated plans to physically fight our more established resident madman Jax Taylor, who managed, somehow, to look reasonable in comparison. “I’ll punch you in your fat throat, mate!” James threatened while grinning at a man who weighs 200 pounds more than him and has been to jail 5 times.

At the end of the reunion, though, DJ Kennedy really outdid himself, getting into trouble not with his fellow cast members but with host Andy Cohen (and not for the first time):

“James, are you texting right now?” Andy asked James, who was texting. “We haven’t talked about the album once,” James responded sullenly, referring to an album of terrible house music he made for Lisa Vanderpump’s restaurant Pump which he has said was inspired “by the ocean.”

“Are you kidding me right now?” Andy asked. “I would just ask!” James responded. Good god, am I going to miss this show.


Gif by Ellie Shechet, via Bravo.


Madeleine Davies

Minority opinion: I find James’ taunting of Jax endlessly hilarious.