I can’t seem to muster a pang of pathos for the man who thought he could out-joust Jenny Slate in a catered battle of wits (known to some as the “first date”).
Slate said during an interview with the Talk Easy podcast earlier this week that a recent, misguided suitor showed up to a blind date with the powerhouse comedian and actress dressed as a knight in shining armor. Get it?
“He comes around the corner inside the restaurant,” recounted Slate, “this dude, and I’m not kidding, is dressed in full chain mail. He’s got a full authentic knight’s costume on, including a floor-length tabard which I called a tunic and then he corrected me and was like, ‘It’s actually a tabard.’” Yes, folks, we live in a world where some dude who’s encased his body inside a welded pun can mansplain “tabard” to a female genius.
The guy proceeded to make bad jokes about how they should go on a more normal date next time “like a Renaissance fair” and made a lot of clanging noises in his effort to taste some of Slate’s pasta.
“For me,” said Slate, “I am a comedian, so I was like, ‘That’s not a funny joke.’”
Radar Online published court papers on Wednesday dating back to 2012, which show that Usher paid a little over million dollars to a former sex partner after exposing her to herpes, which she later contracted. According to the document, Usher covered a portion of her medical bills, but that was after he convinced her an initial STD examination result was negative and that it was alright to keep having unprotected sex (which, according to the papers, they did).
“Believing Raymond’s statements that it had been nothing and cleared up, [she] continued her relationship,” wrote the plaintiff’s lawyer in a legal complaint seeking damages.
Ever wonder what Adam Levine and Behati Prinsloo are up to? Celebrating their three-year wedding anniversary in blinding white environs, that’s what. Their mouths are all gummed up with peppermint Chiclets, you just can’t see it.
- Blac Chyna says she couldn’t live under the same roof as Rob Kardashian anymore because she’s “not going to be disrespected.” [People]
- Bethenny Frankel is demanding eBay pay her for using her name and likeness in an ad she apparently did not sign off on. [TMZ]
- Brooks Ayers has no feeling about his Real Housewives ex, Vicki Gunvalson, having no feelings about him. Great, that makes three of us. [Us Weekly]
- Game of Thrones director Jeremy Podeswa is frankly disappointed in you for making such a fuss over the Ed Sheeran cameo. [Page Six]
- Less than a month after John Mayer heroically announced he’s giving up booze for weed, the singer agreed to play in a “Dive Bar Tour” sponsored by Bud Light. [Page Six]
- Now that Trump is in office, Lana Del Rey says she prefers “static” to the Americana imagery that typically accompanies her tours. [Vulture]
- Ben Affleck is the latest A-list actor to drop out of Netflix’s JC Chandor-directed thriller Triple Frontier. [Deadline]
- In other Ben Affleck news: we’re deep into iced coffee season. [Us Weekly]