These wheels of brie look just like pills, how very middle-class!
Photo: AP

What happens when you combine cheese, MDMA, and strong female friendships? According to some posh British lady who spoke to Metro on Wednesday, the answer is “brieing.”

To explain: an unnamed 50-year-old business woman told Metro that she regularly throws dinner parties where she serves MDMA wrapped in brie. “I have a strong circle of female friends,” she said, “and we had tried all the latest fads, food fashions, and destination dinner parties but something was missing.” MDMA.

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“One of the group suggested we all take MDMA together,” the woman continued, “so we cold open up to each other and improve our friendships.” She says the first gram was supplied by the daughter of one of the group members, none of whom had experimented with the substance before although some of them had “taken coke.” Anyway, now this practice is terribly trendy, according to this one person:

‘Nothing much happened for forty minutes, then the colors in the rug seemed to be a more vivid, and before I know it I was in an in-depth conversation about my fantasy sex life with an old friend…. It was such an intense experience. I am sure most of us at that party have done it with other friends so now wrapping MDMA in Brie seems to be a thing now…. A year later and I have been invited to ‘brieing parties’ and people seem to think it was all grand design but I assure you it was not. It is such a middle class way to take drugs, that is probably why it has taken off.”

I’m very much hung up on this last assertion that wrapping drugs in cheese is “middle class” and that this is what makes the practice so popular. Feels very New-York-Times-style-section.