Softball Is For Lesbians (And Other Kagan Close Readings)

How can parody possibly exceed the current cable-news absurdity over Elena Kagan‘s sexuality? Pat Buchanan compared women’s softball to “two men sunbathing together.” Joe Scarborough got downright Freudian: “I didn’t know this, but a softball bat symbolizes a certain lifestyle.”Both of those insights are included in Talking Points Memo’s genius montage, above. All of it left Stephen Colbert no choice but to take the straight man route — ha, ha — and simply critique the mutual enabling of the coverage so far, specifically at News Corp properties: The Wall Street Journal, The New York Post, and Fox News.

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Colbert observed the cycle of the Journal putting a 17-year-old photo of Kagan playing softball on the cover, followed by gay rights’ groups complaints, followed by coverage of said complaints in the New York Post (which also helpfully included an essay noting that “lesbians and softball go together like peanut butter and jelly) “Considering how much they like to report on one another’s stories, Fox News might be gay for itself.” (Or better yet, News Corp.) Another thing that has kept the questioning alive — besides Kagan’s relatively thin record on the issues — is an odd convergence of gay rights advocates, some of whom want Kagan to come out of the closet (if she’s in it) and assert that there’s nothing wrong with being gay, and right wingers who would like nothing more than to associate the Obama agenda with allegedly radical homosexuality. Interestingly, The Washington Post‘s Karen Tumulty reports that the White House was also interested in the question of Kagan’s bedroom activities:

Administration officials asked Kagan directly about her sexual orientation when she was being vetted for her post as solicitor general, Dunn said in response to a question that she protested was inappropriate. But she insisted that it was not a relevant factor in determining who was named to that job or this one. “When there’s a gay nominee, there’s a gay nominee, which will be a good thing, if they’re qualified and should be on the court,” Dunn said.

Progressives continue to have a tough time warming to Kagan — Sally Kohn of Movement Vision wishes she batted left, as she sings in this clever song.

Meanwhile, Politico has run a conveniently-timed piece on a bunch of (straight) congresswomen who like to play softball together. Maybe sometimes, a bat is just a bat. Is Sexual Identity Our Business, Or Are We A Nation Of Busybodies? [WP] A League Of Their Own [Politico] I Was Token Straight Gal On Gay Team [NYP]