So Was Jeanine Pirro Wasted Last Night or What?

After finally making her way on air wearing what looks to be the wig I used a few Halloweens ago which has since been left tangled at the bottom of my drag bucket, she stumbled her way through her opening remarks. “Just the other day,” Pirro began, “the president talked, or was hoping, about the possibility of reopening everything on Easter Sunday, in a way where we could kind of come out of this quarantine, as loose as it may be, that we’re involved in.”

I suppose it’s possible that the president had both talked and been hoping, but either way that doesn’t make Pirro’s statement any more coherent. For their part, Fox News seems to be attempting some damage control saying through a spokesperson:

Jeanine Pirro was broadcasting from her home for the first time when she encountered several technical difficulties which impacted the quality of her show, including the loss of a teleprompter. As we have previously said, we are operating with a reduced staff working remotely to ensure the health and safety of our employees in these unprecedented times.

Perhaps there were also technical difficulties with Pirro’s hairdryer, which would account for that wayward patch of hair. Or, maybe, she’s just not used to doing her hair at home, which is totally fine! I myself have been struggling to tame my tresses as of late. Of course, on those days I just avoid my front-facing camera at all costs and maintain my abstention from going live on Instagram.

Now, whether or not technical difficulties can account for her inability to string a few words together, I cannot say. I’m not a scientist! So I’ll leave that for you all to decide. For all I know, last night she was entirely sober, which is more than I can say for myself at that same time.