Snooping Through the Instagram of Beyoncé's Latest Enemy, NBA Wife Nicole Curran

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After an unknown woman with a Chanel lambskin crossbody and knockoffs of those Balenciaga thigh-highs leaned across Beyoncé last night, I immediately began digging for information on her online footprint. It’s where the good dirt is.

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My efforts in securing the Instagram of the wife of Warriors majority owner Joe Lacob were fruitful. Never has a snooping session paid off with such bountiful rewards.

From what I can tell, Nicole Curran is an exceedingly rich woman married to a Bay Area power broker who loves posting photos of her expensive shoes. In bed! I’d comment on the sanitary concerns, but I think we can agree she probably doesn’t step outside much in these.

While wearing these shoes, she’s seemingly overtaken by the spirit of a scrappy, 19th century poet.

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Here’s her in fingerless Chanel gloves with a knife.

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A quick Google search told me these were AC/DC lyrics, which makes the context of a rich woman posting this from her palatial, Greco-Roman mansion that much funnier.

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The entity possessing frequently dictates commands to both its vessel and future victims.

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The rich: they’re just like us!

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Here’s me, finally catching up on Game of Thrones 10 years after the finale. “Did I miss the content window?”

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There’s probably an easy joke to make about rich men’s wives and foot fetishes, but I won’t be the one to make it.

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At the end of it all I’m left with this: no matter our class status, we both drive the same crumbling strip of Highway 880 on a weekly basis. And acknowledging the underfunding of public works systems in California, one of us probably pays more in taxes to maintain these deteriorating highways than the other! (Hint: It’s not Nicole Curran.)

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