Six Celestial Quotes from GQ's Interview With 'FoodGōd' Jonathan Cheban

Jonathan Cheban, a carbon-based being who has somehow lucked into the profession of Kardashian Friend, was interviewed by GQ’s Joshua David Stein. The interview went very well.

Cheban, aka @FoodGod, has decided that his new career is talking about food. Specifically, the expensive, kind of mediocre food that constitutes a numbing backdrop to the lives of extremely wealthy people with bad taste. In the interview, GQ accompanies Cheban to dinner at Tao.

You should read the whole thing here—it is a work of art—but in the meantime, here are six things that Jonathan Cheban said.

On the types of things that he loves:

“I love Tao,” he says, slipping into the large booth that overlooks the room. “I think, it’s like, I love places.”

On his amazing talent:

“This is what I do. I need to read it and then smell out what’s going to be amazing. It’s a talent. Like I can look at the menu and just look at the ingredients and be like, This will end up being amazing.”

On rock shrimp:

“Rock shrimp is so generic. Anyone I go to Nobu with who gets rock shrimp, I freak out on them. Every novice is like, Can I have the rock shrimp? Then I’m always like, Don’t order rock shrimp with me. It’s such a bad look on the table. It cheapens me. I’m embarrassed about it. That’s the stuff I ordered for the first 10 years eating at Nobu.”

On branding:

Sometimes he styles himself Foodgōd—“It makes it pop!” he says, “and it looks like a halo!” Sometimes he doesn’t bother with the macron. “I’m a food environmentalist,” he says, “I’m about the food and the ambiance.”

On Nobu:

“Nobu Nobu Nobu,” says Cheban.

On branding, again:

“I definitely want to be like a Guy Fieri or Anthony Bourdain for the young and hot. That would be amaaazing.”

It really would be.