Silvio Berlusconi Convicted of Being Criminally Gross

Illustration for article titled Silvio Berlusconi Convicted of Being Criminally Gross

Silvio Berlusconi, Italy's ex-Prime Minister whom I am legally obligated to refer to as "disgraced," was just convicted of having sex with an underage prostitute and using his political influence to cover it up. He's been sentenced to 7 years in prison, which sounds bad until you consider the silver lining: if such a thing existed, he'd definitely be up for a Negative Italian Stereotypes Lifetime Achievement Award.

You can read about the case here, but a warning: Berlusconi is an adept serial killer of ladyboners and after you read about what he's been doing with his penis, you're really going to want to take a shower. If you're at work, you'll just spend the rest of the day feeling a little grimy. Like you just bunga bunga'd with a greasy looking old guy.


Share This Story

Get our newsletter



Berlusconi was sentenced to one year in prison in March this year for a separate crime, and four years last October for yet another. I'll believe this is a jail sentence when I actually see pictures of him in prison. Italy's legal system gives itself some really bad press with this guy. It seems like a bit of a joke.