Showing Milady How To Never Have Sex Again, Ever

Illustration for article titled Showing Milady How To Never Have Sex Again, Ever

Perhaps the scariest thing about this implement (worn to bed for beautification purposes) is that the ad refers to it as "a new facial harness." Time to retire the old model, right?!

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DISCUSSION

These harnesses don't even work!

I used to have one and, STILL!, every morning, I'd have to go out into the pasture to try to lasso my face so I could sew it back on with a piece of soap.