Shots Fired: Dunkin' Donuts to Launch Their Own Version of the Cronut

Don’t call the Dunkin’ Donuts new hybrid doughnut/croissant treat that rolls out next month a “cronut.” But yeah, it’s pretty much a cronut.

On November 3, Dunkin’ Donuts will roll out its ~~cronut~~ not-a-cronut. It’s totally different than the actual cronut Dominique Ansel Bakery in New York City rolled out last year which made people go absolutely insane over and which, to this day, still has not been stopped from its tyrannical reign of terror over this innocent city. Dunkin’ Donuts now hopes to enjoy some of the magical pastries evil, possibly Satanic powers over morning munchie seekers, according to the Associated Press:

As for the Croissant Donut, Dunkin’ says the pastry will cost $2.49. That’s less than the $5 for a Cronut, but more than twice the $1 or so for other Dunkin’ doughnuts, making it more profitable for the company.

The Croissant Donut will be covered with the same glaze used for its Glazed Donut, giving it a familiar taste, but won’t have any cream filling like the Cronut. Costello said Dunkin’ is looking at fillings and glazes for future versions.

“Are we copying a specific bakery in New York? The answer is no,” said Costello, the company’s president of global marketing. He told the AP the company has totally been testing “pastry combinations” like doughnuts and croissants for 20 years. And it only took them that long to figure this shit out. (It probably takes about 20 years to make one of these things anyway.)

(Pictured above: Totally a real cronut. Lede image: Definitely not a cronut.)

“I’ve tried the product that you mention. As the executive chef of Dunkin’, I like ours better,” said Jeff Miller, Dunkin’ Donuts executive chef. According to the AP, Ansel’s press contact did not return their email request for a comment. Ohhhh, COLD. I smell a pastry war brewin’.

Be warned, Dunkin’ Donuts. You may get up ass early to make your donuts, but Ansel does not fuck around with people who try to copy his precious cronut concoction. Better sharpen up your crayon drawing skills.