She's A Shoe-In

Illustration for article titled Shes A Shoe-In

[New York, March 25. Image via Getty]

NEW YORK - MARCH 25: Clowns attend the 2010 Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Clown Shoe Shine at Eddie�s Shoe Repair on March 25, 2010 in New York City. (Photo by Dario Cantatore/Getty Images)


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I would like to volunteer my services to those who are afraid of clowns. I am the Official Spider Killer in my house and among my circle of friends, because those things do not scare me unless they're poisonous. Clowns don't scare me either — possibly because I dressed as one for my first three or four Halloweens. So if you see a clown and need me to deal with it, I will be happy to oblige.