Illustration for article titled Sheers and Sometimes Suits at the emInherent Vice/em Premiere

This weekend was the premiere of Inherent Vice. As is often the case with movie premieres held in New York City during film festivals, the attendees appear to have gotten different memos about the dress code.

Advertisement
Illustration for article titled Sheers and Sometimes Suits at the emInherent Vice/em Premiere

Joanna Newsom wore a pretty pink pattern that mostly avoided looking too much like curtains at your grandmother's house, while Hong Chau opted for silk pants which always look like your grandmother's fanciest pajamas. Maya Rudolph was the only clear winner here, with a very cool deep green, subtly printed frock that would probably be great at a Christmas party.

Advertisement
Illustration for article titled Sheers and Sometimes Suits at the emInherent Vice/em Premiere

The only two women to go really fancy were Katherine Waterston in a terribly fitting pantsuit for the modern liberated woman and Sasha Pieterse, whose dress I might have liked better had the white underlay not stopped above her knees.

Now onto the men!

Illustration for article titled Sheers and Sometimes Suits at the emInherent Vice/em Premiere
Advertisement

Michael K. Williams always manages to look good even when he's wearing pants that have zippers around the knees; Oscar Isaac needs to rethink both his mustache and his scarf; Julian Schnabel is just always so Julian Schnabel.

Illustration for article titled Sheers and Sometimes Suits at the emInherent Vice/em Premiere
Advertisement

How could two pretty decent looking humans take such terrible photos? At least Benicio del Torro put on an appropriately formal suit – Owen Wilson looks like your high school English teacher.

Illustration for article titled Sheers and Sometimes Suits at the emInherent Vice/em Premiere
Advertisement

Not pictured here: Joaquin Phoenix wearing Converse sneakers. Paul Dano might have been the best dressed man at this event.

Illustration for article titled Sheers and Sometimes Suits at the emInherent Vice/em Premiere
Advertisement

According to IMDB, Inherent Vice was Jordan Christian Hearn's first movie. He looks a bit like he could have been Arnold Schwarzenegger's son, so he is likely to have a great career rocking ponytails.

Anyway, onto young love!

Illustration for article titled Sheers and Sometimes Suits at the emInherent Vice/em Premiere
Advertisement

Eric Roberts and his wife Eliza hold each other and contemplate why Eric was invited to this premiere; Josh Brolin and a woman who is not Diane Lane (Kathryn Boyd) look nice. The texture and color of not Diane Lane's dress is quite lovely.

Illustration for article titled Sheers and Sometimes Suits at the emInherent Vice/em Premiere
Advertisement

Lastly, let's all live life like we're Jena Malone, who wore the most fun and event-appropriate outfit, even if it is underwear covered by a sheer pattern of birds MONKEYS. She looks amazing and the color palette of the whole look is perfect.

Illustration for article titled Sheers and Sometimes Suits at the emInherent Vice/em Premiere
Advertisement

Images via Slaven Vlasic/Getty

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

DISCUSSION

No. Owen Wilson always looks like my high school environmental science teacher.

P.S. and totally unrelated, I once took Owen Wilson's cell phone away from him and told him that he could have it back again when he was ready to follow the rules. It was the best day of my working life.