Sex Life Suffers Following Foot Injury • Lion, Tiger, & Bear Form Interspecies Family

• A Queens woman is suing a wig store after she suffered an injury at the hands of one of the mannequins. The plastic head fell onto her feet, leaving her unable to “make a fist with her toes.”

Her husband claims that their sex life has suffered as a result of the accident. Make of that what you will. • Time Magazine covers the other don’t ask, don’t tell policy in the US armed forces. Rape is not uncommon in the army, but many women are still unwilling to discuss their attacks. The Pentagon estimates that 80-90% of sexual assaults go unreported. Experts site the “hypermasculine” environment of the military as one possible reason for the silence. • Authorities are investigating how a child was allowed to direct traffic at JFK International Airport. On February 17th, a boy was heard over the radio, commenting on their “awesome job.” They also have record of an adult telling the pilots, “that’s what you get guys when the kids are out of school!” • Although the search for missing 17-year-old Chelsea King continues, CBS reports that a body has been found in Lake Hodges, 30 miles north of San Diego. Her mother told reporters that her daughter’s underwear had been found in the Lake Hodges area. Police have a suspect in King’s disappearance: convicted sex offender John Albert Gardner III. • Aw. The Oregon Humane Society picked up this 20-lb kitteh after he was caught stealing food through a doggy-door. The fat cat has been christened Goliath by shelter volunteers. • The UNAids program announced today that HIV/AIDS is the leading cause of death among women, and part of the problem stems from the fact that 70% of women worldwide have been forced to have sex without protection. “By robbing them of their dignity, we are losing the opportunity to tap half the potential of mankind to achieve the Millennium Development Goals,” said Executive Director Michel Sidibe. UNAids has launched a five-year action plan to stop the spread of HIV/AIDS, especially among women. • Years ago, a raid on a drug dealer’s house turned up a lion, a tiger, and a bear cub. The three animals are still living together at the Noah’s Ark Animal Rescue in Georgia and have formed a loving family. “Apparently, no one told them they were different species and that they weren’t supposed to get along,” said a staffer. • A woman from Staten Island is suing her plastic surgeon for $5 million after her 2003 procedure left her with “double-bubble” deformities – “essentially four breasts,” her lawyer explained. • Martha Coakley speaks to Time about health care reform and her recent defeat: “Nobody knows better than I the level of frustration out there…There were larger issues around the public’s anger at the economy…But as much as people are seemingly irate, the work still has to go on…I would hate to see if some sort of paralysis sets in.” • Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards has issued a statement against the language in the Senate bill. Richards argues that the bill would lead private insurance companies to stop covering abortions. Read her entire statement here. • Harper Perennial has come to a deal with the Zora Neale Hurston Trust that will allow them to continue printing her books for the next decade. • Two women flying to Islamabad refused to go through the full body scanners at Manchester Airport. One woman claimed the scanners infringed on her religious beliefs, while the other mentioned health issues. Both forfeited their flight and left the airport. • Even after years of experience, women MBAs still lag behind their male counterparts in pay, jobs, and promotions. Upon graduation, 60% of women started at the lowest positions available while only 46% of male MBAs started at the bottom. Men also received higher starting salaries than women. • Did you know that the Nazis invented the sex doll? Obviously, people had been fucking inanimate objects for hundreds of years, but the “Field-Hygiene” project was the first time anyone had produced sex dolls as we know them. Learn more about the history of blowup dolls at BlackBook. • Hulu has come under criticism for featuring the movie A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell. Although Hulu has lots of campy and tasteless horror films, Nymphoid Barbarian is set apart by its over themes of pedophilia and rape. The protagonist is of indeterminate age, although she is described at one point as “prepubescent.” •