Sen. Lindsey Graham, the unmarried (heyyyy!!) Republican presidential candidate from South Carolina was recently asked who would act as his first lady if, by some miracle, Graham found himself elected to the country’s highest office. He responded with a number of options, but none of them were good.

Thinking it over, the Republican senator told Daily Mail Online: ‘Well, I’ve got a sister, she could play that role if necessary.’

Chuckling, he added: ‘I’ve got a lot of friends. We’ll have a rotating first lady.’

His sister? “A lot” of his friends? Allow me to offer a few more suggestions.

There’s this animated First Lady:

This four-legged first lady:

But personal favorite is this very very sad plastic First Lady. Go with her, Linds!

Can’t you just picture her spinning and sobbing every day as he walks up the stairs to the Executive Residence? “Not now,” he says. “I’ve had a rough day and don’t need to come home to your tears.”


Contact the author at bobby@jezebel.com.

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