Secret Society Of Corduroy Enthusiasts Is Ecstatic Today

Today’s date is a monumental one for members of the 5,000 weirdo strong Corduroy Appreciation Club. After all, 11/11/11 is the date that most resembles their beloved fabric.

The Wall Street Journal reports that the club was founded in 2005 as a place for people who enjoy corduroy to get together and eat rippled potato chips (because they sort of look like corduroy) and drink a beer called quarter-rye (because that kind of sounds like corduroy) and wear at least three items of corduroy at once (because duh).

Not everything is hunky-dory at the normally peaceful and not actually secret society, though. Advocates of rival fabrics like denim and the reviled velvet are consistently attempting to disturb the rippled harmony of the club. One riled up velvet enthusiast even went to far as to pen the club a letter pleading for respect,

“Might I remind you that, traditionally, much the same as corduroy, velvet is heavily associated with nobility,” wrote the sender, a New York art dealer who goes by the alias Julius Fefferpot. “With all due respect, we ask that in the future the Corduroy Appreciation Club be more mindful of our common origins and work to uphold the integrity of your sister fabric.”

The club, which I suspect is comprised mostly of ex-theater kids, would likely take offense to David Sedaris’s vile suggestion that one’s family be dressed in both corduroy and denim.

Since today’s their most corduroy-riffic day, the club’s decided to celebrate with a big soiree that starts at 8:11 on the nose. There will be a fashion show (corduroy bikini, anyone?) and drinking and “secret rituals” that the club’s president “wouldn’t call dancing.” This may be the club’s final meeting. After a date consisting of six vertical lines, what’s left?