Scientists Discover Planet Where Time Works Like It Feels on Twitter

Photo via AP Images.
Photo via AP Images.

Astronomers announced on Wednesday that they’ve discovered a new planet at relatively close 11 light-years away, which is so close to its sun that a year on it lasts ten days. In other words, a new Earth, where time actually works like it feels in the era of Trump tweets.

Advertisement

The Associated Press reports on Ross 128 b, saying it’s “the second-closest planet to be detected yet outside our solar system with surface temperatures potentially similar to ours.” Promising! Tell me more:

Ross 128 b is very near its star, thus the short orbit. But it doesn’t get broiled because the red dwarf star is cool. The star is also quiet, meaning no radiation flare-ups. That’s encouraging news for seekers of extraterrestrial life. The planet is believed to border the so-called habitable zone.

Advertisement

This means that I could travel to Ross 128 b and within one Earth year have aged, chronologically, 36.5 years, making me 68 years old, roughly the age I now feel every day when waking up to read the news. But they’ll probably defund NASA before I can get there, of course.

Senior Editor, Attic Haunter, Jezebel

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

DISCUSSION

kennybeaverstine
Kenny and the Llamas

Wait, Kelly, that’s not... how... time...

Nah, you know what? Fuck it. That’s how time works. Let’s go to Jupiter. One Jupiter year = 12 earth years. We can just wait a year, come back, see if the world survived the Trumpocalypse, get it all over with.