Saturday Night Social: Tactless Hero Bear Ate All the Cupcakes

Illustration for article titled Saturday Night Social: Tactless Hero Bear Ate All the Cupcakes
Image: AP

A Jersey bear unrefined in the subtleties of classy eating–he’s from Jersey–smashed into a baker’s car at approx. 2 AM on Thursday morning, ate 24 cupcakes, and left a big huge bear-shaped paw print behind, conveying a clear message to the cupcakes’ owner: “EYYYYY GOTTA PROBLEM BUDDY???” reports.

Bear is a hero.

People (bloggers, interns, production assistants, George Costanza) have spent years perfecting the art of binging at catered events, and the seasoned imposter can tell you there are many variables involved. How close is too close to the cheese area? How drunk are other people? How drunk are you? Is there cupcake falling down your dress, and if so, is it so large that it will draw more attention if you brush it off? I have to have a cigarette now.


Jersey bear said f’ that.

Jersey bear belched loudly and traipsed off to an art opening for the boxed wine.

Staff reporter, Gizmodo. wkimball @ gizmodo

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Show of Hands: who here had a plan of What to Do after graduating high school?

Who stuck with that plan?

I need to show and tell Duckling that not everybody has their shit together at the age of 18 (well, 17 in her case), and some alleged adults still don’t. The question of “what are you going to do” is starting to stress her the hell out.