Saturday Night Social: Tactless Hero Bear Ate All the Cupcakes

A Jersey bear unrefined in the subtleties of classy eating–he’s from Jersey–smashed into a baker’s car at approx. 2 AM on Thursday morning, ate 24 cupcakes, and left a big huge bear-shaped paw print behind, conveying a clear message to the cupcakes’ owner: “EYYYYY GOTTA PROBLEM BUDDY???” NewJersey.com reports.

Bear is a hero.

People (bloggers, interns, production assistants, George Costanza) have spent years perfecting the art of binging at catered events, and the seasoned imposter can tell you there are many variables involved. How close is too close to the cheese area? How drunk are other people? How drunk are you? Is there cupcake falling down your dress, and if so, is it so large that it will draw more attention if you brush it off? I have to have a cigarette now.

Jersey bear said f’ that.

Jersey bear belched loudly and traipsed off to an art opening for the boxed wine.