Image: Marie Claire on Twitter

Claire’s has died, which means soon the world is going to run out of its supply of neon scünci® snap clips, and then what?? The time has arrived to face the 21st-century, while retaining the general look of youth which I’ve clearly been projecting over here with my scrunchies, thirties be damned. I need to pivot to a 50-year Anna Wintour hair plan which will both keep me looking young forever and also I can die with.

And I have found a candidate. Fruit juice hair! It’s apparently cool on Instagram at the moment, and hopefully will remain cool tomorrow after I have given it serious consideration. 

Thank you, Teen Vogue.

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