Tom Steyer
Tom Steyer
Gif: Getty

Happy leap day Jezzicle cats (I’m honestly so sorry about that one but I couldn’t let it sit in my brain forever, I had to get it out)! I don’t know that I needed an extra day of February this year but nevertheless here we are. It’s Lent, Mercury is in Retrograde, and the South Carolina primary is happening right now. A winning combination of terrors!

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Speaking of both things I don’t need and a winning combination of terrors, last night Tom Steyer, who is, to quote myself, still inexplicably in the race for the Democratic nomination for president, invited DJ Jazzy Jeff and Juvenile to perform at a rally he held at Allen University in Columbia, South Carolina.

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I honestly cannot tell what the most painful part of this video is, Steyer’s dancing, or the five-second mark where he brings the mic to his mouth and pretends as if he might know the lyrics to the song.

Under different circumstances, it might seem quirky and endearing to watch an uncoordinated, kind of dopey looking politician fail to find the beat on stage while Juvenile performs — however then the reality that this is not actually a politician but a billionaire attempting to buy his way into presidential candidacy comes washing over me and my brain starts to melt while trying to comprehend what in the actual hell our political system is in 2020, and it’s not so adorable anymore.

In case you really wanted to burn the image into your brain for the rest of time, here’s a gif of my favorite part, where it kind of looks like he’s casting a spell and then trying to shake the sand out of a beach towel. Anyway, Mercury goes direct on March 9th so we just need to hang on for a little bit longer, but until then I really do need to know, is it the dancing or pretending to know the lyrics? Or just the candidacy in general?

Gif: YouTube

freelance writer living in San Francisco. Please clap.

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