It would have been nice if the Guardian hadn’t asked Kenny Rogers about politics (or the war on Christmas, which really puts a damper on the Christmas tunes), but you can be a real shitheel so long as you enable Dolly Parton to do this:
Just watch this pile of hair glide through the screaming masses, as the happiest voice in the world, the voice of Dolly Parton, rings out through the Memorial Coliseum. Sure, he does a schtick where he says she’ll poke his eye out with them boobies, but that’s their thing. Their Christmas jingles were not horrible.
Dolly Parton posted the Instagram photo above in honor of his retirement concert which was on Wednesday; Lionel Richie, Linda Davis, Reba McEntire, Don Henley and Kris Kristofferson were all there, too. The footage is to be broadcast at an unknown time, but People reports that Rogers and Dolly Parton sang “Islands in the Stream” again (which at this writing has 22.4 million views on YouTube), which means that millions are untangling cable cords and searching the couch cushions for remote controllers because nobody’s waiting an extra three hours for the YouTube bootleg of that.
In the meantime, travel back with Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton, to a place somewhere in the old days you’ve never experienced but probably smells like Mary Kay perfume and every day was Christmas.