Saturday Night Social: It's Time to Discuss the Russell Crowe Thong

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As daytime news laden with White House hoopla and real-world horrors fades into the drunken oblivion of evening, it’s time to address the elephant in the room: Russell Crowe’s jock strap (brown leather boxer’s protector used in the 2005 film Cinderella Man), which fetched around $5,400 at Sotheby’s in Sydney “after intense bidding,” according to the Guardian. I suppose it could have a useful second life as a fannypack or slingshot. A basketball cozy, if we’re being creative.


But when you turn it around, the item appears to be well-worn, presumably adding to the inherent value of having briefly contained Russell Crowe’s (EW) peen. Maybe it’s just the kind of gag item the wealthy pass around the friend group, like a rich woman’s plastic dog poo. Haha, gross, Wysteria!

Image for article titled Saturday Night Social: It's Time to Discuss the Russell Crowe Thong

Whatever it is now, the jock strap was one of many Russell Crowe film memorabilia which hammered for a total of $2.8 million in Crowe’s divorce garage sale on Saturday (“The Art of the Divorce”). (There was also the armor from Gladiator and a 128-year-old violin from Master and Commander, but really, it’s about the thong).

Sotheby’s released Crowe’s official statement on the topic of divorce and how it’s inspired him to get rid of his shit (aside from the fact that divorces are expensive):

Divorce has its way of making you really examine the things that are essential in life — and the things that are not. Through the process I had a look around and realized I had a lot of stuff. Career stuff, stuff I’ve collected, and stuff in general. Boxes and boxes of stuff…so in the spirit of moving forward into fresh air, here’s a portion of that collection of stuff.

Really makes you think about what things are truly worth in life.



Well I had a baby ten minutes before Monday was over. The placenta decided to rip itself away from my uterus in some sort of attempt to kill us both. That was the least fun I’ve ever had, but fortunately my intuition brought me to the hospital an hour earlier.

A few days prior we received a call saying our baby’s last ultrasound showed a probable heart defect. This resulted in an air ambulance trip to Vancouver. Wheee. And then after she was cut out of my gut there was an agonizing wait to find out what was wrong and if it could be fixed.

Good news is that tricuspid atresia is treatable. Bad news is the treatment is two open heart surgeries. The first will likely be in the fall.

Definitely done with having babies. The traumatic birth would have done it no matter what, but even if it had been calm I think I’d be finished. She’s the one I was waiting for all these years.