Now that our friend Barack Obama is back from jet setting with his buddy Richard Branson, the former president and his lovely wife, Michelle, decided to have a relaxed lunch with Bono. Aren’t we all just having such a nice time now!

The three were spotted taking in their chill meal at NYC’s Upland brasserie on Friday afternoon, where they enjoyed a fried chicken sandwich, a sausage and kale pizza, bucatini cacio e pepe and wild applause from adoring fans.

Bono, who recently sucked up to Vice Satan Mike Pence like a sycophantic little troll, deserves no applause whatsoever. Go home, Bono. Bequeath your stupid glasses to Ed Sheeran and leave us alone.


It appears that Secret Service had to apprehend exactly zero diners for affixing themselves to Obama’s ankle and screaming “YOU HAVE TO SAVE US GOD DAMN IT,” but that’s only ‘cause I wasn’t there.