Not unlike Kathleen Hou over at The Cut, I tend to have nightmares about my teeth falling out (or at least I used to—those dreams have since morphed into ones in which a stick of chewing gum disintegrates in my mouth and falls down my throat, leaving me desperately attempting to claw it out with my fingers. Do analyze accordingly).

Despite these dark associations, she nevertheless enjoyed the synesthesia-esque scent of Serge Luten’s Dent de Lait perfume, which professes to recapture the sensation of losing your baby teeth. It reportedly smells like a “warm, powdery, milky hard candy,” with a sharp metallic finish.

I haven’t smelled the perfume, but I’m not convinced. The scent’s advertorial video is like a lullaby written by Lars von Trier, with flashing images of children about to suffer the rude awakening of a tooth being yanked via noose of string. I get what Lutens is saying, I think. But I don’t want to revisit those times; the present predicament is enough to cope with.