Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel: Dunzo, Again

Illustration for article titled Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel: Dunzo, Again
  • Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel have split up again, five months after reconciling. "Sarah initiated the split this time," says a source. "He's bummed." The two had dated on and off for six years.[US Weekly]
  • Britney Spears took time off from her Circus tour to visit 40 sick children in a Miami hospital. "She took pictures with the kids and gave them autographed pictures," says hospital spokesperson Cristene Martinez,"The kids were so excited to meet Britney, and having her here was a great distraction for them."[People]
  • "I couldn't top Friends. It was one of the best times of my life and it feels like a very precious thing to me; anything that happens from this point is a cherry on top of the cake. The fact that I just get to keep working makes me feel really lucky."- Jennifer Aniston [DailyMail]
  • Nadya Suleman has lost yet another publicist: "Not to sound arrogant, but those people depended on me for everything," says former publicist Victor Munoz, "You have no idea what I've had to do for these people. Nadya got real greedy. This woman is nuts. This I can say: what ultimately destroyed the business arrangement was personal reasons."[US Weekly]
  • "What's funny, people will say that to me. "We interviewed you right after 'Idol'; you're pretty much the same." I'm like, yep. I don't want to live in a sceney place. I live in Texas, right next to the town I grew up in. I genuinely just love doing music. I'm not really excited about the whole famous thing."- Kelly Clarkson [Newsweek]
  • Charles Barkley has reported to jail to serve his 3-day sentence for drunk driving: "You come here when you screw up," Barkley said at a press conference, "I don't blame anybody for this situation but myself." He also took a minute to comment on the Rihanna/Chris Brown situation: "I wish both of them the best, but it's never acceptable to hit a woman. Period." [CNN]
  • Hey No Doubt fans: purchase "top price level" tickets to their upcoming tour and receive a pass to download the entire No Doubt catalog. [EW]
  • Blind item: "Which celeb was so caned on ketamine at a party she began dancing with a plant?" [BlindGossip]
  • Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson says he decided to turn his life around after his mother had to bail him out of jail at age 17. ""My parents were dealing with evictions and repossessions and electricity getting shut off," he says, "and I just realized that I had to get it together." [NYTimes]
  • "You start off being a kid in an Adidas top," he continues, "and you end being this guy in a fur jacket and two pairs of f***ing sunglasses. Which, let me tell you, is amazing. Those times were incredible. I wouldn't want to go back to them for all the tea in China. That would be a joke. But I'm glad I lived through all that madness, all the fur coats and the crocodile-skin shoes and the drugs and the women. We made it look like what it is: the best job in the world."-Noel Gallagher [Times of London]
  • Alex Rodriguez is apparently wooing girlfriends by buying gift cards to Victoria's Secret: "He's been going into Victoria's Secret for the last seven months and buying $1,000 gift cards, sometimes five or six at a time," says a source, "He must be giving them out like candy." [PageSix]
  • If you were impressed by certain bulges in Billy Crudup's Watchmen costume, I'm afraid you were tricked by the magic of the movies. "I'm not saying how much the computer helped," Crudup admits, "Why would the guy with all this power really care about a uniform? . . . I think he kind of feels like, 'You know what? I enjoy a good breeze on my private parts.' " [PageSix]
  • And speaking of Watchmen, the movie had a great start, taking in 25.1 million dollars at the box office on Friday. [EW]
  • Scarlett Johansson's new brunette do isn't for a movie after all: she just got "bored" and decided to mix things up a bit. ""I was bored one day," Johansson says, "It was raining and I was with a hairdresser friend and we just decided to color my hair. We experimented with a few shades until we got the right one. I like it." [ShowbizSpy]
  • Is Christian Bale going to try to save his crazy reputation by doing a romantic comedy? A source says yes: "Christian's reputation has been done no favors by the broadcasting of his rant. He has a habit of going for very dark and moody roles so that's not helping his image either. It was his friend Drew Barrymore who suggested he might try something like a romantic comedy, and it looks like he might star in something with her. Drew is looking for the right script." Just don't let Phil Collins do the soundtrack, okay? [ShowbizSpy]
  • Beyonce may sing about heartache, but apparently she's never experienced it: ""Well, fortunately I haven't had any break-ups! This is my first relationship," she says, referring to her marriage to Jay-Z. [JustJared]
  • In Miley Cyrus' new book, Miles to Go, she recalls how she stood up to bullies in school: "They started cussing me and telling me to get up. I sat there, frozen. I didn't know what to do," Cyrus writes, "Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I wasn't chicken. What could they do to me? I was surrounded by people. I stood up, still a foot shorter then they were, and said: ‘What's your problem? What did I ever do to you?'" If you didn't catch that first bit, I wrote, Miley Cyrus' book. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to burn my MFA and cry maniacal tears.[ TheSun]

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Erin Gloria Ryan

Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel's relationship gave sort of unattractive, sort of annoying dudes everywhere false hopes that they, too, were entitled to date women who look like Sarah Silverman.