Sarah Palin May Be Related to Halle Berry, But She'll Never Be Invited to the Cookout

We all have family members that we’d, uh, rather not talk about in public, or in private if we can help it. Having grown up both Catholic and Southen Baptist, when someone asked about a certain member of the family, depending on which side of the family you were talking to, you were sure to get one of two answers. You’d either get a gentle smile and a drawling, “Oh, bless his heart he’s doing the best he can,” or you’d get a thin-lipped grimace and a curt, “Just fine.” The former meant he was about the check-in on his one-way flight to hell and the latter meant the person who asked was just written off the Christmas card list for being bold enough to pose the question.

Halle Berry, it seems, doesn’t mind so much having her odd familial ties talked about publicly, but she’s also not sparing any Southern hospitality for the sake of painting a positive picture of the family tree. Which, ultimately makes sense when considering the relation being talked about is the original pitbull in lipstick herself, reality TV personality and one-time vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin.

Though Berry herself first revealed the connection in 2012, when the Daily Blast tweeted the information out again just recently, she made sure there were no questions about the nature of their ties. “She may be on the tree,” Berry tweeted, “but she ‘AINT invited to the cookout.” And that, as they say, is that on that.

I feel like I have a memory, somewhere in the far recesses of my mind, of this news breaking way back when, but I don’t think it will ever not be shocking to me. If Halle Berry is, regardless of how distantly, related to Sarah Palin, I’m honestly terrified to know who is hiding in my own family tree. However, it does bring me some solace to think about Sarah Palin, should this news ever reach her, sitting around wherever she is, wondering about just what cookout she isn’t being invited to. Bless her heart. [People]

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In news that really makes me go, absolutely the fuck not!, Jared Leto apparently almost died after an extremely close call while climbing up the side of a mountain. Leto took to Twitter to talk about his near-death experience, sharing that at some point on his climb at Red Rocks the rope he was using began to be severed by a rock while he was dangling 600 feet up in the air.

“It was a strange moment,” Leto tweeted, “less fear, more matter of fact, and slightly melancholy. The adrenaline came after, when I got back on the wall.”

Describing almost falling off the side of a mountain as “slightly melancholy” sounds like some hippie-dippy mumbo jumbo you can absolutely miss me with, but congratulations to him for keeping is cool and not freaking out I guess.

In an accompanying video he posted, he sounds slightly less composed, “Holy fucking shit. Holy fuck,” he says, which is a little more my speed considering the circumstances. [Us Weekly]

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• Killer Mike compared Bernie Sanders to MLK which is a choice [Bossip]
• Queen Elizabeth got locked out [Page Six]