Happy Friday my little freakazoids! You successfully made it through the first work week of the new year. To celebrate, let’s check out what our favorite people—celebrities—are saying. Because, of course, what is better than a nibble of famous people’s wisdom to chew on as you enter the weekend? If I’m being honest: very little. I crave and then cherish the smart and stupid things celebrities say. My life? It’s arguably just fine.
Luckily for me, British Vogue published their annual “Hollywood Portfolio” today and it’s chock full of famous actors answering questions with two to three sentences that their PR team has approved. Among the many delectable and calorically empty quotes was The Whale’s Sadie Sink saying that if she could have anyone play her in a movie, it would be Kate Winslet. But to clarify, she only wants this to happen “if we can manipulate time” so that it would be “a young Kate Winslet.”
My question: Why not Kate now? Let 47-year-old Kate Winslet play 20-year-old Sadie Sink. Hell, let 47-year-old Winslet play 14-year-old Sink. I am ready for that. America is ready for that. We all saw—no—heard Winslet’s incredible transformation into overworked detective Mare Sheehan of Easttown, Pennsylvania. Let her now portray a Gen-Z teen from Brenham, Texas.
No time manipulation. No digital de-aging. No special effects makeup. The magic of acting alone, of slipping into a character and bringing that character to life. Was PEN-15 not one of the greatest shows in the last five years?! I am ready to be wowed and no, I have not looked into what would make Sink’s biopic worth telling at all. But I will buy a ticket to any movie with Kate Winslet wearing Brandy Melville.
Also notable in this year’s “Hollywood Portfolio,” arguably a tradition that doesn’t have the gravitas or cultural standing of Variety’s “Actors on Actors” or even American Vogue’s “73 Questions,” was Kate Hudson saying that Cate Blanchett is the star that inspires her most. Why? “She inspires me with her bravery.” I’ve never moved quicker to scroll to the Personal Life section of a Wikipedia page. What did Blanchett do that made her so brave? Aside from being somewhat vocal about politics and playing a lesbian a number of times as a straight woman, I do not know. If anyone has heard a story of her tightrope walking over a fire or fighting a lion to save her family, please email me.
Anyways, I’ll be patiently waiting for Winslet to accept this role. My only hope aside from this somehow panning out, is that outlets continue to ask celebrities inconsequential questions for me to read for the rest of my life.