While last night's Academy Awards didn't hold many surprises — Hathaway won and Seth MacFarlane said all of the things that the rest of us are too smart to — the evening did hold one very special treat with E! finally airing the first promo of Ryan Lochte's new reality series What Would Ryan Lochte Do? Cool title, E! The answer, by the way, is almost always "act like a huge fucking bro."
So what will America's Sexiest Douchebag get up to now that he'll be showing up on our TV every week? Well, mainly — judging by the preview which, unfortunately, is unavailable online — he will spend a lot of time taking us through all of the stuff he owns like cars, diamond-encrusted watches and sneakers. (This is particularly fun info if you are planning to rob Ryan Lochte.)
If all the excess doesn't appeal to you, the show will also contain emotion and heart as Ryan uses his time on camera to seek out a girlfriend by partying and having sex with as many hot babes as he can. Who will the lucky girl be? One of us? I don't know — how often can you put up with a Jäger hangover? If the answer is "frequently," then hell jeah it could be.