Rush Limbaugh: 'The Oprah' Was Snubbed Cuz She's Too Fat To Look Rich

This is one of those “BREAKING: Water Is Wet” items, but your seventh grade BFF Rush Limbaugh who moved to, like, Brussels or something when his dad got a weird job, crawled out from under a local bridge to voice his important opinions on Oprah’s recent encounter with racism (and just plain retail rudeness) at an upscale boutique in Zurich.

His important opinions are that racism does not exist and also that she is fat. (Does he know what he looks like? Does he know?) And why does he call her The Oprah?

“Obviously [the store owner] who thought [Oprah] was a black person, couldn’t afford anything, and she wanted you out of the store.” Later, Rush asserted that “we don’t know that the sales person based her judgment on The Oprah’s skin color,” before asking, “Maybe it’s because The Oprah’s fat? Well that’s another — how was The Oprah dressed? I mean she didn’t look like The Oprah obviously. Was she wearing jump suit with tennis shoes? Maybe Air Jordans that weren’t laced up?”