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Rush Limbaugh Blames 'Feminazis' For His Tiny Penis

Illustration for article titled Rush Limbaugh Blames Feminazis For His Tiny Penis

Yes, Rush Limbaugh is a professional troll, and he's long ago established himself as a hypocritical buffoon. And obviously nothing he says should ever be taken seriously. But sometimes he says things that are so stupid that they come full circle back around to unintentionally hilarious. On his show yesterday, he made one of those statements.


Rush's omnipresent castration anxiety became slightly more evident during the ANGRY WHITE MAN YELLING WHILE EATING HOUR, when he used the results of a French study that found that factors like weight gain, smoking, air pollution, and other modern travails were leading to a decrease in penis size. But Rush doesn't buy any of those explanations — he blames the feminisms. Quoth the radio host,

I think it's feminism… it's tied to the last 50 years - the average size of [a male's] member is 10 percent smaller than 50 years - it has to be the feminazis, the chickification and everything else.


It's true! In the meantime, vaginas have gotten big and floppy enough to suffocate a fully grown adult male.

Women are the weaker sex, except when it comes to driving men mad with lust by just hanging around them or by haranguing their dicks into submission. Asking for equality is so powerful that it can affect human physiology. Someone call Gloria Steinem and congratulate her — she's behind a real medical breakthrough. Maybe one day we can use this knowledge to picket tumors away.


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Jezzies . . . I must share something with you. My aunt, whom I love very dearly (who is a very pleasant, wonderful person, really) called this horrible shell of a man "brilliant." And talks about how much of a genius Rush Limbaugh is and how much she loves listening to him. Unfortunately, she's not being funny. She is very, very serious. I'm terribly distressed and sad about it. :(