Revealed: Instagram Accounts for All Your Favorite Dolls

American icon (like it or not) Barbie now has her very own Instagram. So we wondered: What would her fellow dolls’ accounts look like? Here’s our best guess.

Elle covered Barbie’s debut on the image-sharing network, and here’s the interesting thing: Mattel pegged the whole thing to New York Fashion Week and specifically created a fashion blogger/street style account for the old gal. Please. I remember all the puffy sleeves and zebra stripes you wore in the early 90s, missy. Rightfully, Barbie’s feed ought to be more Ab Fab, less Lauren Conrad.

While we’re at it, here’s our best guesses for the rest of the gang:

Any American Girl Doll

Lots of DIY projects and wholesome baked goods, perhaps with her satchel of pristine schoolbooks just at the edge of the frame. Think Mormon housewife blogger.

Cabbage Patch Kids

Body positivity. (It’s hard being a Cabbage Patch Kid in a Barbie world.)

Bratz

All sexy club selfies, all the time. Duck lips.

Jem

Lots of snaps from her chill life. Karaoke with in grubby-but-cool spots with the rest of the Holograms, expensive craft cocktails downtown, beach vacation photos that make you jealous but not full of loathing.

Chrissy

As the original doll whose hair grows, I’m picturing hair selfie after hair selfie after hair selfie.

Polly Pocket

Yet another shot of her tiny, tiny studio, rearranged for the umpteen millionth time.

Madame Alexander dolls

Well, it’s not like she gets out much, so every photo is likely the view from the dusty, abandoned top of the bookshelves, occasionally with her bestie (a dead spider).

Monster High

Cool spooky graveyards.

Strawberry Shortcake

Endless shots of how the green beans are coming along at her rural commune. Lotta gingham.

Kid Sister (My Buddy for Girls)

Doing that sorority girl pose with her sorority sisters, generally with her “big.”

Trolls

Trick question. Trolls stick to Tumblr.

Image composites by Tara Jacoby. Source images via: Tricos da Minha Blythe/Flickr, Valerie Everett/Flickr, Eileen Neylon/Flickr, monster 777/flickr, Appalachian Artworks, Hasbro, Wikipedia, originalchrissy/photobucket, followpics.co, antiquedollhouseofpatterns.com.