Red Table Talk Gives Green Light for Olivia Jade To Vlog About Salad Again

Illustration for article titled Red Table Talk Gives Green Light for Olivia Jade To Vlog About Salad Again
Screenshot: Youtube

Rich influencer children can do whatever they want. I’m not being glib—they are fully-realized adults with the capacity for decision making and reasoning and analysis skills. Those like Olivia Jade, heir to the defunct Lifetime Original Movie slash Mossimo for Target joint fortune, can stage a comeback on her respective platforms after the wake of a scandal any time she pleases. And Olivia Jade has, officially, come back to YouTube—all thanks to Red Table Talk, apparently.

In her first video since the college admissions scandal that sent both her parents—Aunt Becky and Mossimo of the Target Mossimos—to prison, Jade exhibits an uncommon reticence. Minutes in, she adds an extemporaneous cut-in from the future, apologizing for her seeming glibness. Peppered over her video are disclaimers that all her Adsense revenue will be donated to charities, as well as a hearty thank you to the Red Table Talk cast, “Jada, Willow, and Gammy,” for giving her a voice and platform to post again her appearance on the show, where she expressed her disbelief that she has benefited from whiteness and wealth.

Well, at least the Table’s cultural power can now be quantified.

Her “intro clip ensemble,” complete with a tune ripped straight from “24/7 chill beats radio,” features video of Lori Loughlin—only just released from prison on December 28. (Mossimo is still in there.) As a daily vlog, it’s meant to be boring: ASMR of someone else’s life which viewers are meant to envy and covet, bare white walls included.

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In the vlog, Jade journals, feeds her dog, spills coffee on the counter, and whips out the same toaster I believe my old job kept in the breakroom, maybe? It looks uncannily familiar. She then works out somewhere outside, buys herself a very bare salad, and enjoys the view of Southern California from her high rise apartment. Rice and broccoli for dinner come next, then a skip through the apartment, while Jade giddily laughs and smiles and reminds herself how happy she is to be speaking into a camera again. Quarantine must have been lonely.

True to her roots, she ends the day with skincare. The entire viewing experience is banal and uneventful, but all vlogs are by nature. Besides, Jade telegraphs those intentions at the beginning of the video, telling viewers that if they don’t want to watch, they don’t have to.

I won’t again, probably. But at least it’s nice to know that Jade is back to what she loves: bopping around in an empty apartment, talking to herself.

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DISCUSSION

manicotti
Manic Otti

Man, that salad sucks.