Former Classmates of Republican Star Madison Cawthorn Detail a Pattern of 'Predatory Behavior' Towards Women
I'm going to write the world's first backlash-proof show about feminism. The main characters will be named Betty Friedan and Susan B. Anthony, and they will live on a magical island in the middle of the ocean where no one bothers them, ever, and they never have to interact with anyone. They lay around in the sand and talk about feminist theory. One of them eventually falls in love with a handsome abortion doctor played by Colin Firth who she ends up leaving when he uses the word "chicks" in reference to baby chickens (you can't be too careful; the word could easily be construed as meaning "ladies"). At the end of every season, the writers of the show will send all fans a thesis on feminism, which the fans will then collectively grade and correct. There are unicorns involved. The unicorns are genderless. The women are vegans. They talk about sex, but not too much. They also talk about their bodies, but not too much. Lisa Simpson will appear as a sunstroke-induced hallucination that the ladies see occasionally. They like shopping, but not too much. They sometimes talk about sports, but not too much. They don't like Ben Roethlisberger and they love Scott Fujita. They have vibrators.