Real Advice: How to Look Like a Lady While Riding a Bike

Earlier today, Huffington Post ran an article called “How to Look Like a Lady While Riding a Bike,” which offered advice (based on Instagram photos) on how to ride a bicycle AND look like a woman at the same time. Hahaha, I mean, CAN YOU IMAGINE?

While looking like a lady while being astride a velocipede might seem like either a joke or an impossibility, you can actually pull this off. HuffPo’s advice? Wear heels, don’t be afraid to ride in a skirt (as you shouldn’t be — women’s bikes are literally built to accommodate dresses) and wear patterns and bright colors, not only for fashion, but also for visibility.

Some of their other tips are not so great. They also suggest that you wear white “fearlessly” (have fun “fearlessly” trying to wash out those chain lube stains later) and invite a “cute guy” along for the ride. Unfortunately, not all ladies like cute guys. And some cute guys bike too slow. Either way, a cute guy is not a requirement of looking like a lady while riding a bike.

The real advice on how to look like a lady while riding a bike is actually a whole lot more succinct. It goes like this:

Learn to ride a bike (optional).
Identify as a lady.
Get on a bike.

Follow those three easy steps and you will look like a lady on a bike. Congratulations.

Of course, if what you really want to look like on a bike is this, the steps become increasingly complicated (they include befriending the ghost of Gregory Peck and teaching yourself how to stop sweating). Best to content yourself with riding around in a circle skirt and feeling happy about how your powerful body (that may or may not be wearing heels) is muscling your journey from point A to point B. Or you can always just stand next to your bike looking moody — that works, too.