Reader Roundup: How To Taylor Swiftify Any Song

Just say yes to today’s best comments.

• Best Comment Of The Day in response to Did John Mayer Sleep With Taylor Swift & Break Her Teenage Heart?:

Taylor Swift Reverse Mad Libs! You, yes you, can T.Swiftify any song ever by inserting these references/themes now!

-Slamming screen door sound effect!
-“your mama don’t know” (sung ominously).
-“my daddy doesn’t like youuuuu” (sung whinily).
-“my lovin’ bed” (sung unironically).
-“waiting at your back door” (definitely sung unironically).
-“your girlfriend sucks!” (sung petulantly).
-“my town is smaller than your town!” (sung triumphantly).
-high heels/sneakers/blah blah/bleachers.
-high school….forever!!
-whatever age you are, subtract four years and sing about that.
-unless you’re over 25, then subtract, like, ten.
-take Shakespeare/Hawthorne/Melville out of context: see Moby Dick as analogy for “the dude that got away.”
-if you sex your uterus will fall out.
-if you sex everyone will think you are a whore.
-if you sex that will make you a whore.

• Best Comment Of The Day in response to Another Genital Gaffe From A French Politician:

How unsemenly – the number of gaffes Horefeux can make in one week is about to reach clitical mass. He should save some for the next erection, or at least in the future promise acuity.

• Best Comment Of The Day, also in response to The Pearl Necklace You Might Not Wear On A Job Interview:

Well now. If every kiss begins with Kay, I guess this is the natural progression.

• Best Comment Of The Day in response to The Pearl Necklace You Might Not Wear On A Job Interview:

Remember ladies- if you want to be looking your best for a job interview, get a facial.

• Best Comment Of The Day in response to Why Programming Is Hip Again (Hint: It’s Not The Bong Hits:

if (YouThinkWereCool == true)
{
getSuccess;
}
else
{
getTFO;
}

• Best Comment Of The Day in response to Starbucks Explores Possibility Of Sellingn Beer & Wine:

Ugh, Starbucks sommeliers are so snobby. They think they invented wine pairing or something because they have English degrees.

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