Reader Roundup

Monday’s best comments smell spring-fresh!

Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Today’s Special: Zebra-Meat Pizza: “Zebra: the other white (and black) meat.” • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Chivalry: Gerard Sticks His Finger In Jen’s Butt: “So tragic. A finger in her butt instead of a baby in her belly.” • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to The Sweet Science: Proof That Pie Trumps Cake: “Amen. Don’t think about giving me that fucking rose. This isn’t the bachelor.” • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Sniff Your Armpit: “This Is The Way You Smell To Others!”:

“1 out of 10 girls should make this ‘Asshole Odor’ test..”

Tonight, when your male friend takes off his shirt, smell the fabric. Does it smell of Axe? Examine the shirt. Does it say “Ed Hardy”?

If so, ladies, you need ASSHOLEONO. Just one dab of ASSHOLEONO will cure your man. He’ll stop saying the words “bro” and “bra”, take down his poster of Carrie Prejean, and stop muttering “Damn, Tiger got game.”

ASSHOLEONO comes in two strengths: TIGERWOODS and JONGOSSELIN. Both strengths of ASSHOLEONO are on sale in the toilet paper aisle.

Reminder: If you see a great, funny, insightful, eloquent (or awful) comment, nominate it! Email the comment and the timestamp link to the left of the comment to Hortense at [email protected].