Who: Zooey Deschanel
What you’ll see: Bangs and manicures.
Celebrity Guest Appearances: New Girl costars, Tony Bennett, Loretta Lynn.
Rank on a scale of 1 to Tom Hardy: 7
Who: Drake
What you’ll see: All of the ingredients needed to live a baller/YOLO lifestyle properly: Furs, stacks of cash, fireplaces, beaches, Cartier bracelets, gold watches, private planes.
Celebrity Guest Appearances: Weezy and the like.
Rank on a scale of 1 to Tom Hardy: 7.5
Who: Kesha
What you’ll see: Glitter, kittens, beards, glitter, frozen yogurt.
Celebrity Guest Appearances: Believe it or not, Britney?
Rank on a scale of 1 to Tom Hardy: 7.9
Who: Kathy Griffin
What you’ll see: Lots of hair and hilariousness, tons of other celebs.
Celebrity Guest Appearances: Cher, Johnny Weir, Anderson Cooper, Judge Judy, too many to count!
Rank on a scale of 1 to Tom Hardy: 8
Who:Lena Dunham
What you’ll see: Girls costars, funny doggie faces, sundry absurdities.
Celebrity Guest Appearances: Besides the costars? Alec Baldwin and Aubrey Plaza.
Rank on a scale of 1 to Tom Hardy: 8.4
Who: Her Majesty Queen Beyoncé
What you’ll see: Well-chosen carefully posed images that hardly show you anything about what her life is really like.
Celebrity Guest Appearances: Not really, just one shot of Jay-Z poached from a photo agency and one where B. is with Kelly and Michelle. Most of the photos are not taken by B. Still, it’s fucking BEYONCÉ.
Rank on a scale of 1 to Tom Hardy: 8.5
Who: Rick Ross
What you’ll see: In addition to what you’d expect — sneakers and gold jewelry — Ricky Rozay also has pictures of a Versace dining set and the lady selling him chicken wings. High and low! Drinking vodka, eating fast food, buying Hermes sandals… there’s a lot of variety here. PLUS, what you will see next is basically the most awesome image ever…
How can you not like Rick Ross’s Instagram?
Rank on a scale of 1 to Tom Hardy: 9.5
Who: Rihanna
What you’ll see: 33% Christian life lessons, 33% blunt smoking, 33% psuedo-nudity, with fashion shoots and tattoos thrown in, RiRi’s account is a manic grab-bag. You never know what you’re gonna get! Exciting.
Celebrity Guest Appearances: Every now and then you see part of He Who Shall Not Be Named (rhymes with Miss Frown).
Rank on a scale of 1 to Tom Hardy: 10
Who: Tom Hardy
What you’ll see: Tom Hardy just joined Instagram, and it’s not clear that he actually knows how it works, but Tom Hardy’s Instagram is amazing, because it is ALL PICTURES OF TOM HARDY. His captions are ridiculously simple: “hi guys” and “you’re beautiful girl :)” and “Hi ladies! Like my cute dog” and it’s almost like Tom Hardy is taunting us, but who cares? PICTURES OF TOM HARDY.
Rank on a scale of 1 to Tom Hardy: TOM HARDY!
