Ramona, Let Me Hold $300

Growing up, if someone said, “let me hold twenty dollars,” it meant one of two things. Mostly, that you were about to get robbed and you could fight or just surrender your belongings; or, if the request was coming from a family member, it was a loan that would never be paid back despite multiple promises to pay it back. I am explaining this important difference for my target audience of one, New York Housewives star Ramona Singer. On Tuesday night Singer accidentally posted a screenshot of her checking account to her Instagram stories and we are now all aware that she is just about as well off as she claims to be.

On February 22nd, according to the photo, Singer’s account balance was at $367,483.70 and that was after she paid $16,000 to American Express. Her CHECKING ACCOUNT. Not savings, not her IRA, not her stock portfolio—her fucking checking account. The account that the average person sees whittled down to single digits in the lead-up to payday. The account no one sets up as the auto-pay account for a bill other than rent because you just never know what might happen.

The post was deleted from her story not long after it went up, which probably means that Ramona was ass-deep in Turtle Time. If I were vacationing at The Breakers in Florida with several hundred thousand in my bank account, I too would be incredibly drunk and reckless. Ramona, my DMs are open if you want to throw me a little chunk of change and call it a donation to a struggling Latina journalist. Make me your tax write-off; I am here.