Rami Malek's Characteristic Creepiness Will Make Him the Perfect Bond Villain

Illustration for article titled Rami Malek's Characteristic Creepiness Will Make Him the Perfect Bond Villain
Image: Getty

According to NBC News, Bohemian Rhapsody’s Rami Malek will star in the next James Bond movie, currently operating under the title Bond 25, as the villain trying to off Daniel Craig. As someone who once genuinely enjoyed Bond films, I believe Malek’s particular brand of creepiness (not as Queen’s Freddie Mercury; more like, Elliot Alderson in Mr. Robot—or that Mandarin Oriental video) will make him the perfect outlaw to finally do Bond in.


If there is a defining characteristic that bonds all Bond villains, it’s not simply their desire to kill the English martini-swilling misogynist. It’s their unblinking, large, curiously attractive eyes: think of Le Chiffre in Casino Royale (both the 1954 television version, portrayed by Peter Lorre, and the 2006 film, played by Mads Mikkelsen), or Christopher Walken’s Max Zorin in the 1985 Bond film A View to a Kill, or even Hugo Drax (played by Michael Lonsdale) in the 1979 film Moonraker. Malek’s got the look, and in the Bond universe created by Ian Fleming, appearances matter.

But to fully embody the Bond villain role, an actor must possess a certain devilish je ne sais quoi, an energy that fails to be captured by words like “creepy” and “unsettling” and “a train wreck I can’t look away from, wow, are those flames beautiful,” but it’s worth the attempt. Malek, in his best roles, embodies all of those descriptors. He’s a handsome weirdo who can scare people as much as, and as well as, he can intrigue them.

If that’s not enough evidence, please watch his announcement video, where he says, “I will be making sure that Mr. Bond does not have an easy ride of it in this, his 25th outing.” Chills, baby.

And if I’m wrong, well, at the very least, the genius behind Fleabag, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, has been hired to make the movie halfway decent, and that’s enough for me to get behind.

URL: Senior Writer, Jezebel. IRL: Author of the very good book 'LARGER THAN LIFE: A History of Boy Bands from NKOTB to BTS,' out now.


Sorely Vexed

You Only Live Once

“While you slowly die in my improbably elaborate murder machine, Mr. Bond, let me take take the opportunity to explain my entire master plan in minute detail. Just kidding!”

*Shoots Bond dead*