All images: Getty

Historically, the red carpet at MTV’s Europe Music Awards—the EMAs—reflects the style diversity of the countries the attendees are representing. As virtually everyone around the globe becomes an Instagram zombie, though, this is narrowing a bit. Still, even though most everyone chose sequins (early holiday spirit, I guess), we got some good looks out of it. Above is Rosalía, the Spanish flamenco-inspired singer we adore, giving a ruffled two-piece to die for. She has a tinge of that Rihanna swag, and the fashion sense to go with it—this is streetwear sensibilities gussied up for the occasion. Catch me at the gym wearing that exact shit, though.

The night was held in Bilbao, so Spain has got this one on lock: Spanish singer Brisa Fenoy is serving you pristine Liza Minelli-meets-Diana Ross-in-Mahogany and I am taking notes, henny. Dua Lipa’s Saint Laurent minidress is very Dua Lupa-y, subdued confidence with a dash of supermodel.

Hailee Steinfeld hosted the evening and continued her long tradition of giving us maximum leg in a gift-like Armani Privé party dress. Model Rose Bertram is a sci-fi disco dream in a reflective cyborg jumpsuit, which was silver but reflecting the pink carpet and blue backdrop for an amazing accidental color palette with her neon yellow pumps. Put it in the New Museum.

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Normally I am not feeling Insta influencers for this column, but Alba Paul Ferrer (with wife Aida Domenech) is not doing that typical Insta thing: I could have sworn this cozy pajama-pantsuit was by Ashish, but it turns out it’s the Spanish designer Célia Valverde, she makes a ton of shit in this iridescent pink, and now I know who I’m wearing to the [night I blog the] Met Gala. Anitta is a perfect cocktail in waterfall fringe, and Jourdan Dunn looks forever fabulous in a sparkly tiered gunmetal blue gown. Nicki Minaj is doing some gladiator shit with this excellent crystal Versace number, an attitude that I wish was reflected in her latest songs. :(

Little Mix stays being the end-all, be-all of how girl-groups can dress, with symmetry and complimentary hues but without losing their individual personalities in the interim. But Perri Edwards is emitting a whiff of Posh Spice in Christopher Kane, no? A nice lil’ homage.

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Anne-Marie’s ruched taupe gown is a remnant of the Kardashian camouflage that I normally wish would fade away, but I like the minimalism on her here. The exact opposite is Bebe Rexha, who is doing the absolute most in Jeremy Scott’s latest version of maximalist Moschino. Halsey’s lacy gown has too many ideas going at one time, but Lindsay Lohan’s attorney-after-hours look is just right.

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Evan Ross and Ashlee Simpson rolled through in Beetlejuice and Lydia realness, and I agree with them, Halloween should never end. I know I’m obsessed with Ashish but Spanish pop trio Sweet California’s Halloween look is basically Fall 2016 Ashish runway jams and I’m not mad. Terry Crews and Rebecca King-Crews are a little burst of Gucci, your fave influencer’s fave stylist’s fave influencer’s fave rich girl’s fave brand. I am into it, but also I am exhausted by it. The Supreme of the 2 percent.

They told me you should end a meeting on something nice so everyone will walk away with a sweet taste in their mouths, but alternately sometimes everyone is deserving of real talk, so I’ll say it: Camila Cabello is entirely too codependent on the va-va-voom red gown, and I think she needs to take a break. Don’t get me wrong, she looks fantastic, and the structure of this look is gorgeous. It’s just, we’ve seen it, you know? We’ve seen it. Just a little tough love from your red carpet mom, as I wear a cat-hairy t-shirt and Timberland hiking sneakers and type this at a standing desk. Just remember, whatever you do—do you. You deserve it, queen! (Positive ending. How’d I do?)