A janky cellphone shot of GQ's "Sexiest Women of the Century" issue has recently been leaked and — how annoying — they've totally ripped off your signature Sunday morning farmers market outfit and put it on Beyonce. Bey appears on the February cover wearing a pair red leopard print underwear (with zippered pockets to carry the essentials), some belly jewelry and a cut-off jersey that adequately shows off her magnificent underboob.
Listen, everybody — I want to add something thoughtful here about men's magazines and objectification — really, I do — but every time I look at the cover, I get lost in a bit of a daze because Beyonce is just so freaking beautiful and suddenly that's all I can think about. I'm a part of the machine! I've been caught in GQ's web! I apologize, but at least (and maybe I'm grasping at sexually objectified straws here) she looks quite powerful and strong here — she has muscles, she has curves, she's not sucking on a finger and — look! — she's already burned her bra! One point for feminism!