Qdoba Unveils 'the Quentessa,' a Hot, Imaginary Woman Who Loves Qdoba

Illustration for article titled Qdoba Unveils the Quentessa, a Hot, Imaginary Woman Who Loves Qdoba

Qdoba is tired of playing second fiddle to Chipotle in the world of Fresh-Mex chain restaurants, so they came up with an unusual marketing tactic. She is called the Quentessa, and she’s a hot fantasy woman who is essentially Qdoba’s ideal customer. According to babynamespedia.com, Quentessa is derived from Latin roots and means “essence.”


The Quentessa has a lot of power in her nonexistent hands, since Qdoba plans to redesign everything to reflect her tastes: store architecture, branding, the menu and even the way employees communicate with customers. “Guys want her number, and girls kind of want it, too,” vice president of brand marketing David Craven told Fast Company. “She’s naturally magnetic, leads a story-filled life, and invites others to do the same. She’s a personification of flavor in our lives.” A personification of flavor!

As for whom might have been the inspiration for the Quentessa? Apparently it was a combination of three women we all know. “We thought about Jennifer Lawrence in Silver Linings Playbook,” described president Tim Casey. “Mila Kunis in her Jim Beam work recently. Uma Thurman in some of her movies—like Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill...But this idea of having boldness. Flavor. Badass without trying. Sophisticated, yet approachable and successful.”


Aside from making Quentessa the official goddess of Qdoba, the company has already made changes that set themselves apart from their competitor. One notable difference is guac is NOT extra at Qdoba. You better watch out, Chipotle. Qdoba’s new approach seems to be working. I already want to know more about this fascinating imaginary Quentessa. What does she wear? What’s on her Netflix queue? Plus, I’m now craving tacos.

Contact the author at marie.lodi@jezebel.com.

Image via Susan Montgomery/Shutterstock.

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Snake Person

Y’all, they plagiarized the pitch. Gillian Flynn should sue.

“She’s a Quentessa. Being the Quentessa means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Quentessas are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Quentessas never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Quentessa.”