Putin Says Gays Are OK, But Just at the Olympics

Someone call Olivia Pope because there’s a new fixer in town. Scrambling to relieve some of the pressure regarding the hugely discriminatory anti-gay laws and the upcoming Olympic Games, fast-talking, charm-slinging stud Vladimir Putin has just announced that the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi will graciously welcome LGBT people. But just the ones who have specifically come to participate in or attend the games.

In a statement to the head of the International Olympic Committee, Putin said:

“We are doing everything, both the organizers and our athletes and fans, so that participants and guests feel comfortable in Sochi, regardless of nationality, race or sexual orientation.”

So just to be clear, Russia will continue to uphold the ‘gay propaganda’ legislation that actually makes demanding equality for ‘non-traditional sexual relations’ a crime. But in order to accommodate the extraordinary demands of the IOC and their human rights stipulations, visiting gays (whether athletes or spectators) will basically have a get-out-of-jail-free card. Welp, case closed, everyone, you can stop protesting now. Consider this handled.