King Charles Evicts (Alleged) Sex Pest Prince Andrew From Buckingham Palace

Randy Andy is officially getting the boot from Buckingham Palace. King Charles has evicted his younger brother, the Jeffrey Epstein hanger-on and alleged sexual abuser Prince Andrew, from his living quarters at the London palace. It takes a lot for me to cheer on King Charles or to root for a landlord kicking out a tenant, but Andrew is exceptionally bad.

Buckingham Palace is currently undergoing major renovations and King Charles has decided that part of those renovations is annexing his younger brother’s apartment, where Prince Andrew kept his collection of 72 teddy bears. (How did this man manage to get so remarkably creepy?) Last month, the king also kicked Andrew out of his offices at the palace. If the message isn’t clear to Prince Andrew, I’d be happy to ring him up and spell it out: “Your brother does not want your creepy ass hanging around, babe!”

Seeing as Andrew was relieved of all royal duties and stripped of his military affiliations when his connections to Ghislane Maxwell and Jeffrey Epstein sex scandal were made public, it makes sense he shouldn’t get a front door key or a guest room at the palace. For whatever reason, though, Andrew was reportedly Queen Elizabeth’s favorite child, so she was never going to kick him out. But Charles, who became king after she died in September, got right to work doing what his mother would not.

“Andrew loved having a suite at Buckingham Palace where he was not only set up for marital life with Sarah Ferguson but used it as a bachelor’s pad after his divorce,” a source told The Sun. Yeah, I bet he did! I’d also love to have a suite at a literal freaking palace that I could bring supermodels back to. But there comes a time in everyone’s life when their childhood bedroom gets repurposed. My mom turned mine into a sewing room in my early 20s, so every visit home I get to sleep between piles of fabric and a few loose sewing needles.

Andrew and his ex-wife Ferguson still live together at the Royal Lodge in Windsor, a few miles down the road in the countryside. There, he takes care of his late mother’s corgis. Other than that, I don’t know what Andrew does to fill his (disgraced) royal time, but whatever it is, it will no longer be happening at Buckingham Palace.