Priest Who Allegedly Stole from Church and Gave to Grindr Tricks Had the Right Idea

Finally, a priest I can really get behind.

Father Joseph McLoone of the St. Joseph’s Catholic Church in Downingtown, Pennsylvania, has been arrested for allegedly stealing over $100,000 in donations made to the church between 2011 and 2018. According to a statement from the Chester County District Attorney’s Office (via The Hill), McLoone used the cash to fund a cushy lifestyle that included “a beach house, travel, dining, and spending on adult men with whom he maintained sexual relationships.”

Honestly? Good for him. In rhetoric and practice, the church has been awful to queer people (the cool pope really isn’t that cool) and they deserve a kickback, a low-key kind of reparations if you will. That awfulness is hypocritical not just in the WWJD kind of way, but also because so many priests (maybe up to 80 percent in the Vatican!) are gay themselves. The people running the anti-gay church are gay! That’s to say nothing of the way that the church has for decades (at least!) aided and abetted child abusers by moving them around and covering their tracks. Donating to such a corrupt and corrosive institution seems unwise? I don’t really understand why people still do it? That money is better off going toward keeping a crafty priest well fed and fucked.

McLoone’s biggest crime is that he got caught for what he supposedly did. His bail is reportedly set at $50,000 and his lawyer called the allegations “absurd.”