Oh here I am over here all "NOPE, I'm cool with not having kids and whatnot. NBD! Hey, what's that? It's a picture of President Barack Obama; how nice. Oh and what's that he's doin—OH MY GOD." All the ovaries exploding. All of them, y'all.
Look, I will just break down what we're thinking and pretending we're not here:
THAT BABY HAS ELBOW DIMPLES. IN THIS MOMENT, THIS MAKES ME WANT TO REPRODUCE. LOOK AT HIS BIG TOE. IT IS WEIRD, BUT NIBBLY. HIS GRUMPY FACE IS MY OWN, AND MY OFFSPRING WOULD BE AMAZING. OMG THOSE CHEEKS, AND SO MUCH HAIR! BRING ME THIS BABY.
OUR PRESIDENT HAS NOT LIVED UP TO OUR LIBERAL EXPECTATIONS, WE HATE TO ADMIT IT BECAUSE HE AND HIS FAMILY ARE SO INTENSELY LIKABLE BUT NO MATTER HOW MUCH WE WISH IT WERE NOT SO, 'DRONES' HAPPENED, AND THAT GUANTANAMO PROMISE TOOK SEVEN YEARS.
AND YET, GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY, WE WOULD SEX HIM. FUCK, HE IS HOT. BUT NOT REALLY, BECAUSE WE LOVE MICHELLE SO INTENSELY, AND ALSO THEIR MARRIAGE AND THEIR AMAZING DAUGHTERS. I JUST WANT BARACK - NO - SOMEONE TO LOOK AT ME LIKE HE DID AT MICHELLE DURING THAT STUPID INAUGURATION DANCE.
FEELINGS ARE COMPLICATED.